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Saturday, November 21, 2015


Samuel Mallard never considered himself to be a victim of life...
That is, until the newly brave vampire undead decided to exert their powers over humans.
Now a night and daylight war between humans and vampires is open to the public!
And, like some victims of this new war paradigm,
Samuel finds himself suffering from... Low Blood Pressure!



(Waterloo, Iowa)

Life really sucks when a vampire maiden decides to make you her food supply.
But I was given a big dose of surreality when I became a victim... and here is my reply.
I had heard about the rash of various brave undead openly enslaving a blood ripe human.
I would never ever have believed I would become the target of such a bloodthirsty "woman."

Oh yes, she was quite open and very in-my-face as she told me I was now going to be hers.
She did that thing vampires do... looked into my eyes and I was falling down the reality stairs.
And when I picked-up myself and gained a little focus, it was too late... she had bitten me.
And she took me to her apartment and now the four walls of the bedroom is all I can see.

Well actually, there is more to her strong arm act of depravity and unwanted blood slavery.
There is a bizarre sexual component to my capture, too... a little sexual chicanery.
When she forces me to lie down on my back... and somehow forces me to harden down there...
And she sits on me with her admittedly awesome cold body... things happen... but does she really care?

And when that sex act is over, she produces those canines and sinks them into my neck...
Or my leg, or my arm, or my foot or anywhere else she can cause me to wreck.
Yes, the pain is monstrous as she draws molten fire from my body into her mouth.
 At least she has the decency to heal me... but, still leaving my health just a little south.

She keeps me weak... to weak to put up any kind of real fight...
As if I could resist her wonts and make a way to take my flight.
I have figured out why I feel so very tired and frail...
She lowers my blood pressure so far down, that is why I ail.

And so, in this new vampire paradigm, where they openly hunt humans for sport and food...
What they do is all about eating us with a little bit of bizarre sexuality, according to their mood.
I want to resist... I have carved a wooden stake from a knife handle... to kill her while she is asleep!
But, I better make sure my blood pressure is higher before I plunge my weapon oh so deep!

I will bide my time, and if I can get myself out of this bloody mess...
You better believe it, this insanity I will never again stress!
Being a slave to a member of the undead really sucks coagulated blood...
Jeez, I mean, if I could impregnate her I could at least be her slave stud!


Tuesday, November 3, 2015


I have been called many names over the decades.
Today, you can call me... Calvin.
Where I live is a very lonely, isolated place.
To kill some time, I record the foods and recipes I eat in my journal.
I stay here alone because humans are my enemy and my food.
But my best time is when I have a... Dinner For One!



(Calico, California)

The taste of iron in the blood I drink is the tang that makes me tingle all over my body.
When my canines pierce an artery,
The rush of the thickness is syrup to my soul.
And as I always greedily gulp down my ambrosia-like drink of choice, 
My eyes widen as the ecstasy takes over what is left of my damned soul.
I could die right there,
As 40,154 moonlit nights before,
With my victim in my tight grip!

But when I spread a little blood on a plate and allow it to dry a little...
Oh my,
The now concentrated minerals and metals sparkle on my tongue like star bursts...
Bringing to life the deadness of the flesh of my tongue that only comes to life when that happens.
I rarely eat the flesh of my victims...
But, a slice of bread on the side of my plate so enhances the tastes.
Oh my,
What ingredients makes Meals For Vampires tasty sharp...
Only the blood,
Only the blood!